I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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