Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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