What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
