I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
