I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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