I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well I just put wine in my tea
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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