Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
