your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
