Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
