bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
