he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
