Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
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I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
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If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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