Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
