Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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