In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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