They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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