I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
