So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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