I have demons in me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
