Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
