just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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