I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
