i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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