Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm always down for nudity.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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