I must be too annoying 4 u.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
