I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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