it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
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okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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