we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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