dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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