life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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