she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
