god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i now understand why vodka
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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