We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
