a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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