Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize