Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
