Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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