It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
