I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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