Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
