Kiss
Puke
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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