I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
