so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Found your dick twin last night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
