in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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