I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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