Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I understand Curling. That high.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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