i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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