so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
