I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
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That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
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I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Dear god my vagina.
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