I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
