I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
