I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
