I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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