she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
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