I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
