party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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