hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
