I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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