I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize