My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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