Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
