I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
