If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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