I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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