we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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