I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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