Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
